His name was Mario...

How could he just leave like that? I mean we've been through so much together and then he just ups and leaves. He defeated a god damn gorilla for me for gods sake.

The gorilla took me while I was sleeping, I'd just returned home from a gala event exhausted so i had my best dress on. I just awoke under his arm as he carried me up a skyscraper under construction. Still have no idea why. We got a 3rd of the way up and he stopped for a break, I looked down and saw a carpenter in red overalls following us up. A small amount of hope fluttered to life in my chest as he started the ascent. The gorilla saw the carpenter and went into a barrel throwing rage, running as fast as he could the carpenter grabbed a hold a of hammer and started smashing the barrels to pieces, all the while still climbing to get to me. My heart stopped when I saw the bottom of the tower catch fire. The carpenter ignored it and just kept climbing. He could have reached out and touched me when the gorilla picked me up again and carried me another 3rd of the way up.

This happened once more before we reached the top, I noticed that on the way up the carpenter picked up my hand bag and umbrella. He jumped over yellow blocks at the top of the tower and caused pieces to drop away. When he got to me all the pieces broke off at once and the gorilla tumbled down a 3rd of the tower and landed on his head. We stared deep into each others eyes and the love felt could almost be seen it was that thick. After that he dropped me off at home and said he would call the next day...

He never called.

The day after the next I saw him on the front of my local paper, arm in arm with some blonde ditz he just saved. I couldn't believe this, 1 day after he saves me he heads off and saves someone who looks exactly like me and appears on the front of a paper. Few people on the internet even know about me! Pissed off I read on only to discover she's made him change into blue overalls and now he's taken up plumbing, PLUMBING! I make a few phone calls and manage to get in contact with the gorilla who kidnapped me. Turns out the reason he did everything he did was to prove his masculinity to his wife, they'd recently had a baby boy who they'd named after him and it turns out that the baby is already stronger. His loss on the tower didn't help. I forgive him for what he's done and told him my plans.

After some rather costly breast implants, hair dye and extensive planning I'd finally arranged to do the grand opening of a Mario theme park. It was all sorted, just as i cut the ribbon Donkey Kong jr swept me up and locked me away. Turns out the plumber had now had some practice in rescuing damsels and got to me quite easily. We talked for a while over some cake and things are better now. Every now and then I'll make an appearance to play some baseball but i mostly keep to myself.

He's become a global superstar, recognised everywhere.
And I'm still just Pauline...